1. |
Mama
03:12
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I came out old
Then grew younger
Open mouth crying: hunger!
Hold me, hold me
I’m yours to hold, oh, mama…
Sleep or awake
In a dream without words
All is seen and heard
Inside, outside, all the same
Feeling needs no name
Milk, your creamy milk
As I touch your skin like silk
Drink, I’ll drink you
No need to think you
Between our bodies
There is no border
Day and night in sweet disorder
Rock me, rock me
Through this endless time
For I am yours and you are mine…
Oh, mama
Is this really a memory?
Or a faded photo that I can see
Of a teenage girl
Holding me
Oh, she was beautiful
Just nineteen
She was my world!
She was my eternity
Oh, mama…
You carried me
Then gave birth
Happy days, my first year
On this earth
Life, life, you gave to me
And, yes, my hunger
You fed me when I came out old
And you were so much younger
Rest now, you can rest now
Mama, rest upon my shoulder
While I sing my thanks to you
Now I am older
I hope you can hear me say
How I loved you, mama.
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2. |
Ginger Curls
03:06
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I cut my hair
Ginger curls fall through the air
Land on the tiles on the kitchen floor
I smile as I skip
To the chip shop next door
They say - Oh, son of a gun!
What have you done?
You looked so nice… before
Bag of chips in hand, I run outside
Searching for somewhere dark to hide
Need to contemplate
This weird sensation,
Eat my chips to calm my agitation…
I’m split in two
Someone old, someone new
Who oh who
Does my hair belong to?
I run down the street
So light on my feet
Try to act merry and free
But in a shop window
There’s a reflection of me
Who is this girl I can see?
I stop and stare
Feeling over-aware
Before… I could just… be
Next day at school
Teacher says those trousers will not do
Wear a skirt like the others; you could be pretty, too
And she adds: it’s a pity about your hair
Your crowning glory…
Now I’m in despair in this story
Scissors in hand
My strength on the floor
I am Samson
But I am Delilah, too
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3. |
Black and White Badge
03:33
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At twelve I dream
The siren screams
The bomb will fall, fall
Soon, soon…
I run and run across the land
I want to hold my parents’ hands
Together at last
Before the final blast
Night after night
I wake in fright
Oh, what what can I do, do
I want to save the world
I’m a Ban the Bomb girl
My badge, black and white
Pinned to my clothes, day and night
I march and march wishing I was older,
With a student’s arm around my shoulder
But I’m still at school I am not cool
No duffle-coat or jeans
Not yet a teen
But I know, I know what I mean
When I say we must try, try
Try to save the world
For I’m a Ban the Bomb girl
Yes, I’m a Ban the Bomb girl
At twelve I dream
I heard children scream
As the bomb fell, yes it fell
Down, down…
They ran over burning land
Towards their parents’ hands
But - annihilation…
Radiation…
I wake in fright
Night after night
Crying - tell me it’s not true
What they did to you
My badge, black and white
Pinned to my clothes, day and night
To remind me
Of you
What can I do, do, do
I march and march and march
Again and again
Blisters are bad, but it’s nothing
Compared to nuclear rain
Protest I must
Or we all may turn to dust
I must save our world
Says Ban the Bomb girl
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4. |
Army of Teens
02:29
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Look out, look out
There’s a teenage girl about
She wants it all
And she wants it now
And she will get it, somehow…
She’s a thinker
And a tramp
A non-believer
And a vamp
She likes drugs and rock’n roll
And Beethoven too
Enjoys contradiction
Documentaries and fiction
She’s burning with ambition
And whatever she does
She does it better than you
She reads like a vampire
In the dead of night
Drinks literature like blood
She has the gift of second sight
This girl is a soldier In the army of teens
She’s bleeding and she’s proud
And she says what she means
I may have freckles on my face
I do not fit in any place
Too fat, too thin, too everything
I am a disgrace
I think too much, I feel too much
I dream too much, I scheme too much
I love too much and hate too much
And yet – somehow-
I’m still too young to touch…
Look out, look out,
There’s a teenage girl about
She wants it all
And she wants it now
And she will get it, somehow…
This girl is a soldier
In the army of teens
She’s bleeding and she’s proud
And she says what she means
You may beat me, I will rise
I may look stupid in your eyes
But a life in second place Is not a life
I want to face
I’m a rebel, not a fool
Throw me out of every school
I’ll win the game a different way
I’ll get there, yes I will
I will, I will, I will…
One day
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5. |
Hymn
04:34
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I have a best, best friend
I want our friendship to never end
I love her, with all my heart
I hope we never part
She believes in God and sin
Damnation and holy bliss
We go to church together
And then go home and kiss
Both are secret, both are fun
We swear not to tell anyone
Together us girls are dynamite
We hold each other close
When she stays the night
We whisper ‘til we fall asleep
I wake up when she softly weeps
She is sad, so sad
When I ask her why
She looks at me and then replies
We’re bad, so bad
But Jesus will save us, she cries
No, I say, I think religion lies
You are not bad and nor am I
There is no father in the sky
And if there is, I will rebel
Love does not send a girl to hell
We are good, our love is good
My friend is on her knees, she starts to pray
You must understand, she says, one day
I will be his bride
And Jesus will take me, deep inside
I start to cry and then I say
I don’t believe, but I too can pray
Listen to me, dear God, if you are there
Listen to me, hear my fucking prayer
I do not want this love to end
You cannot, cannot take my friend
We are good, our love is good
I know it’s true
And I am telling you
To leave her alone
Set her free
Holy Father - this girl belongs to me!
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6. |
Ghosts
04:53
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Now I’m a teen in my bedroom
Hiding in my private cocoon
Searching, searching for songs
That are more than a pretty tune
I listen again, again and again
To every word I hear
I want to know, will another story
Ever appear
I study each and every picture
On the long-playing record sleeve
I find a strange and disturbing mixture
Of things I do not want to believe
The women seem to hover
Like ghosts around their men
As if they are waiting
But for what, and when?
Why are they silent?
Have they lost the power of speech?
Can they not hear, are they not seeing?
Are they so far out of reach?
When Leonard Cohen sings to me
Of Marianne and sweet Suzanne
I know that I would rather be
The singer than his muse
When Dylan says lay lady lay
Across my big brass bed I feel my body calling
But I’d rather lead than be led
I’d rather shout than lurk in shadows
I’d rather write about acid rain
Is my sorrow not your sorrow?
Is my pain not your pain?
Am I going nowhere, slowly
To no place I can hear or see?
Oh God, is nothing holy?
Only songs could comfort me
My heart is aching
I cry but long to rejoice
It’s my silence you can hear breaking
As I try to find my voice
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7. |
Black Mascara
01:39
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Fourteen, drinking cider
Wearing lots of black mascara
Makes your eyes open wider
Tempting fate, smelling danger
Flirt with every fucking stranger
Every place a new adventure
Play truant, bend the rules
Those who don’t are stupid fools
Don’t know what they’re missing
Tongues mingle, wet kissing
Reading Camus, Jean-Paul Sartre
Existential disaster
Looming, as I fall
And fall from grace
Short skirt, black tights
Wander in the streets at night
So exciting
But at home I’m fighting with my mum
I’m right, she’s wrong
I cannot bear to see her long
To be young
She’s thirty-three
She has a teenage me
To haunt her
Often taunt her
Housewife, what a life!
Meals and cleaning
Where’s the meaning?
What can I do
To never be like you?
Pile on the black mascara…
But I know one day I’ll say
You gave me everything
At fourteen life was hard
But, oh!
Yours was so much harder
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8. |
Flames
03:59
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Just fifteen
You are my education
You’re my revelation
Touch my hand
I shiver and shake
Smile at me
I think I’ll break
I’m dreaming
I look at you
I’m scheming
How to get you
To look at me
To look at me…
Oh boy, can’t you see?
Look into my eyes
I’m waiting
I’m waiting day after day
For you to realise
I’m yours if you want me
Night and day
You already haunt me
Here I am…
Is this love?
Are you my fate?
Oh, heavy with hormones
Sleeping late
I’m sliding into heartbreak
You’re the hero
I’m the clown
You are up
I am down
You wear the crown…
I want to be your queen
My hand in yours
Oh, skin on skin
You’re my everything
Consumed by flames
Desire is my name
Will you awake me?
Or will you forsake me?
Oh please do not break me
I think this is love
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9. |
Pink Bikini
02:01
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On our way to the station
South of France our destination
Something makes me stop…
In the window of a shop
I see… a pink bikini
Mum, mum, I’ll catch you up
I say, I will, believe me
We nearly miss the train
I’m in disgrace
She wears that face
Of quiet despair
As she stares in the mirror
At another grey hair
We’re going to join a man she calls her beau
I’m against him, even so
On balance really want to go
Because I want to know
How it will feel
In my bikini
If I lie in the sun
I know I’ll get a golden tan
I’m wrong, yes I am
The sun burns and burns me
I’m so pink top to toe
The bikini doesn’t show
At the disco I’m a teen
A burning dancing queen
French boy presses hard against me
I take his hand
Lie on the evening sand
Next day he boasts that I’m easy
Boys shout: whore, slag, that’s you
But I thought that’s what you do
If you’re sixteen, in a bikini
I long to escape
From my blushing teenage state
From the prison of my shame
But I cannot break the chains
I’m not Houdini
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10. |
The Secret
03:38
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What can you do
When you’ve nowhere to hide
What can you do
When you’re holding a secret
And you’ve been cast aside
What can you do
When you’ve no money
When you’re out in the cold
No-one to hold
What can you do
What can you do
When the world turns its back on you
What can you do
When you’ve nowhere to go
And you don’t know how to say no…
What can you do
When every door is closing
What can you do
When you have no key
Where do you go
When you’ve missed your turning
Light is falling
And you’re on the road
What can you do
When you’re caught in a trap
And there’s no turning back
What can you do
When you’re falling and failing
When you want to achieve
But those around you
Don’t believe
What can you do
When you feel like a has-been
No good
Good for nothing
You’re outside the mainstream
You are young
But have an old, old dream
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11. |
One Day
03:49
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Take my hand
Listen, if you can
One day, this will just be
A distant memory…
One day, the shame will have gone
One day, the wounds will have healed
One day, you’ll wear your scars like jewels
And its they who will look like fools
One day, their power will be gone
Believe me, it will be done
Child, let me comfort you
Here, take my hand
One day you will understand
It’s true what they say
This too will pass
This too will pass
Here, take my hand
Listen, if you can
One day, you will meet strangers and will find
People can be kind
You will be free to stay or go
And you will know, you will know
There’s nothing in your way
It will be a new day
Lift your face, look at me
Who do you see?
The one who holds your hand
The one who understands
Who knows you through and through
Is the future you
Yes, I am you
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12. |
Dance Girl Dance
03:21
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Dance, dance, dance girl dance
As if your life is beginning
Your eyes wide open
Hear your body singing
Waltz away from despair
It doesn’t matter what you wear
Just let down your hair
Move, move, ‘til you feel your feet again
Move, ‘til the air tastes sweet again
Twist, turn and leap
You’ll emerge from your sleep
From the nightmare in the deep
Oh, fly girl, fly
Wave your troubles goodbye
Roll on the floor
Or reach to the sky
It’s heaven on earth
It’s a dancing rebirth
For music brings you home
To your muscle and bone
Arabesque, pirouette
Your clothes drenched in sweat
Oh joy! You are living
The past is past
All that was broken
Now is forgiving
It’s true, this is you
You can do it – so do!
You can levitate
As you hear the beat syncopate
This is real, not just a feeling
So dance, dance, dance girl dance
Hear your body singing
Your eyes wide open
Look, your life is beginning
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Sally Potter London, UK
Sally Potter has been composing music for her films since her Oscar-nominated ORLANDO in 1992. PINK BIKINI is her first studio album, a semi-autobiographical collection of songs about growing up female in London in the 1960s, as a young rebel and activist. ... more
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